Would Changes to the School Year Help Parents?

In the September issue of Northern Connection magazine, I started the conversation by looking at the up-coming school year. Several parents I know wish that the school year would go all year. They argue that historically, students had summers off because they needed to help with the family farm. But now, the U.S. keeps falling behind the other countries that do go to school all year long.

Of course, as a student I loved my summer vacations and as I got older, I really enjoyed working to earn my own pocket money. I also think if I didn't get a break, I would have burned-out from studying somewhere along the way.

Plus, nowadays there are so many great summer programs and extracurricular opportunities for students during the summer that truly enhance not only their education, but each of them as an individual. Providing opportunities to mature, learn about the world outside of their day-to-day school life.

But as always, what do you think? Please leave comments below, email me at NorthCon@consolidated.net or send me a “Letter to the Editor” at P.O Box 722 Wexford, PA 15090-0722 attn: Marianne Reid Anderson.

Is There Still a Taboo over Mental Illness?

It has come to my attention, that there have been a series of suicides in our community. Many committed by and effecting our high school students. It has also come to my attention, that in some of these cases, grief counselors and other support structures are not in place to help students cope. Coping with stress, peer pressure, bullying and the loss of their fellow students can lead to intense feeling of hopelessness and despair.

So, in this month’s Starting theConversation, I wanted to know your thoughts on mental illness, suicide and if you know any resources for our community, to please share them so we can help create awareness.

In Pine Richland school district, a petition was started regarding the ongoing suicide issue.  Go to http://www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/suicide-prevention-in-pine-richland-school-district to learn more and to find out the answers to these questions in your own school district.

Specifically:

-Does the district have a suicide prevention program, a suicide prevention coordinator, and what policies and procedures are currently in place to prevent suicide? (i.e., are staff members trained to identify children at risk for suicide, are there specially trained staff members that students know they can turn to when they are concerned for themselves or for someone else, when a student is identified at risk what are the next steps?)

-When a bullying incident occurs what is the procedure and how is it specifically handled? The current policy does not outline the consequences for bullying, (i.e., where should incidents be reported, are they documented, when are parents contacted, when are attempts made to resolve the issues, are the school psychologists involved, how do we effectively increase a positive, accepting school climate?)

Anyone, anywhere can go through a dark time and require help developing coping skills or medication to stop a chemical imbalance.

In Starting the Conversation, I mention the book “Am I Going to be Okay?” by Debra Whittam. If you are interested in Debra Whittam’s book, visit www.debrawhittam.com to purchase your own copy of the book, as well as, Amazon.com and bookstores nationwide. Also she will be having a book event for a ‘Meet and Greet the Author at Mars Coffee Brew House in Mars, PA on Saturday, June 4 from 9:30am until 1pm.

If you or someone you love needs help, it is perfectly alright to reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ to click to chat.

 

But, as always, what do you think? Enter comments below or email me at NorthCon@consolidated.net or send me a “Letter to the Editor” at P.O Box 722 Wexford, PA 15090-0722 attn: Marianne Reid Anderson.

Technology, Children and Social Skills

For the 16^th Annual Education issue of Northern Connection magazine, I started the conversation on technology, children and social skills. I made the point that in many cases, we, as adults, can be just as bad as any child when it comes to using technology. Afterall, no one under 16 has ever been in a driving accident for texting. But then I wondered how do we set our own boundaries as well as boundaries for our children and how do we make dedicated face time for one-on-one relationships without slighting everyone else we are connected to?

One example of a rule that I gave is that instead of money for chores, children earn “digital time” on any device they choose. For example, cleaning their room or unloading the dishwasher might earn your children 15 – 30 minutes on their gaming system. Which may work for children, but what should we, as adults, do to maintain our social skills?

I know several couples that when they go out to dinner, they all pile up their cell phones in the middle of the table and the first to reach for his or hers, has to pick up the tab. Unless, they all make it to the end of dinner, and in which case, they simply split the bill.

But what do you think of rudeness for a techno fix? Do you have any suggestions for our readers? Feel free to leave comments below or email me at northcon@consolidated.net.

Should Everyone Get a Trophy?

In the October issue of Northern Connection magazine, I started the conversation regarding participation trophies due to Steeler James Harrison being very public about returning his sons’ participation trophies. ESPN gives a great account of what happened: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/13447657/james-harrison-pittsburgh-steelers-takes-away-kids-participation-trophies-says-awards-earned.

What do you think about Mr. Harrison’s viewpoint? After all, there is only one Vince Lombardi Trophy for the Super Bowl. Just as there is only one Mirror Ball Trophy awarded to the winner for Dancing With The Stars. Of course, baseball gets a bit confusing – even if you don’t win the World Series, you still get a pennant for winning the league, which depending on the stats for the two leagues, a team with more wins in a more difficult division may actually not make it to the World Series. Ultimately, making the World Series NOT a competition between the two best teams. This baseball discussion might have to be a future blog!

But getting back to the main point; Mr. Harrison feels participation trophies send a wrong message to children and leads to an entitlement attitude. Participation trophies did come from parents wanting their kids to get “something” for trying their best and giving their time and effort. But I believe the debate is whether the “something” should be a trophy which equates to an achievement. Why can’t the “something” be as simple as a ribbon or a team hat or “something,” does acknowledgement for participation really need to be a trophy?

Some competitions have even changed the “scale” of awards. For example, in many dance competitions, they have changed bronze, silver, gold medals, as in the Olympics, to gold, high-gold and platinum. I can’t help but ask, "why?" Every participant knows if they don’t get platinum, they aren’t eligible for top awards and scholarships, so why change the scale?

I think I’ll stick with my bake-offs – a blue ribbon is still a blue ribbon.

But, as always, what do you think? Feel free to leave comments below or email me at NorthCon@consolidated.net.

The Expense of Technology...Is it Justified?

In this month's issue of Northern Connection magazine, I started the conversation on the expense of technology and wondering when or how it is justified. In the article, I referred to the example that a 10-year old colleague of mine gave me regarding 3D movies and how they can be as much as $10 more a movie and how he "didn't feel that was fair."

By way of another example, let's look at SMART phones - you can get an Android phone for free, or a reasonable price, so long as you agree to a lengthy contract with the telephone carrier. Then, phones range all the way up to the latest iPhone from Apple, and depending on how much storage space you want is even more incredibly expensive. Why is the iPhone so expensive? Because it's popular, because it's trendy and people are willing to pay it. Me? Being a tech-head, I know how insecure both Android and iPhone are and so for me, like everyone in the CIA and the Secret Service, I go Blackberry all the way - hopefully soon the new Blackberry operating system will soon be available on certain Androids but until then, your phone is in serious jeopardy of being hacked. So, for me, I feel the expense of a Blackberry is justified.

Personally, I think the frustration over the expense of technology often comes from the fact that it doesn't last very long for the money or it is out-of-date soon after you buy it. Have you ever had the experience where you no sooner by a gadget or computer only to find out a newer version is coming out or now available?

What do you think? When is the expense of technology justified for you?

What's Fracking?

In this issue of Northern Connection magazine’s “Starting the Conversation,” I was wondering about your thoughts on the new drilling technology known as fracking.

This conversation seems to have two definite sides since so much money is involved either way.

For more information on the pros, check out www.pioga.org.

For cons, check out www.pennfuture.org.

Also, as I mentioned in the article, Oklahoma (not on a fault line) has started experiencing earthquakes that are registering 3.0 and more with some reaching as high as a 5.0 magnitude. According to an article in the New York Times, the Oklahoma government has just concluded it is due to the fracking: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/22/us/oklahoma-acknowledges-wastewater-from-oil-and-gas-wells-as-major-cause-of-quakes.html?_r=0

In addition, I heard that insurance rates are going up to any homes within a certain radius of the blast zone?

But most importantly, what do you think of fracking? Please feel free to leave comments below or contact me through the magazine!

 

 

Response to Vaccination Conversation

In the April 2015 Northern Connection article, I "Started the Conversation" regarding the controversy over vaccinations and I received the following response from a reader that is very interesting but too long for the comment section so I decided to post the response as its own page:

From a Reader: Hi, Ms. Anderson, this is my (long) response to your April 1 “Start the Conversation” article. 

Thank you so much for starting (and continuing!) this conversation. This is a tough subject, and one that has upset and frightened people on both sides of the issue.  We all want to keep our children and the whole community as healthy and safe as possible.

I think you’re an excellent writer, and you’re very brave to dive into this subject.   I don’t quite agree with your theory that most parents delaying or refusing vaccines are making wrong decisions based on lack of knowledge about the diseases, though I’m sure that some do fall into this category.  I’m old enough to have had some of these diseases, and there’s a pretty large disconnect between what these diseases are like in developed countries, and what today’s young doctors believe about them. I think it’s more an issue that today’s doctors have forgotten (or were never taught) that some of these diseases are not the deadly plagues the vaccine industry paints them to be, at least, not in developed countries with modern sanitation, clean water, good nutrition, and advanced medical care.

I don’t feel like I can really advise new parents on which invasive medical procedures they should give their children, but I would like to correct some of the common misconceptions about vaccines and the diseases they are meant to prevent.

First of all, I think most of the parents who are criticizing vaccine safety are not looking particularly at autism, but at the tens of thousands of reports of severe adverse vaccine reactions that are reported every year, and at the thousands of cases that have been conceded and compensated by the US Department of Health and Human Services.

These reactions include disabling and painful autoimmune disorders, paralytic and other neurological disorders, seizures, brain damage, and death.  The number of such reactions reported may have been extremely rare 30 or 40 years ago, but it has drastically increased in the last few years, as has the number of reactions conceded by the government.

Some of us have experienced these reactions first-hand already, or our children have. Aren’t these reactions just as valid as the experience of those who have gotten the diseases the vaccines are meant to prevent?  Shouldn’t our experience be part of this conversation?

Secondly, I think most people assume that each vaccine is just as safe and effective as the manufacturer claims.  Shouldn’t we look at each one and see if it really is?
Let’s look at at the MMR and measles for starters.

Most people today don't know that in 1955, 7 years before the first measles vaccine was introduced, the mortality rate for measles was about 1 in 5,000 reported cases—but many cases went unreported, as measles was then considered an annoying but not dangerous disease that all children got, like colds and flu  According to:  http://jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/189/Supplement_1/S1.long, 4 million individuals in the US were infected with measles every year, with a death rate of about 1 in 10,000.
Although the MMR is extremely successful at reducing measles incidence for the SHORT TERM, it is causing unforeseen major problems.

The immunity acquired by the vaccine is not lifelong, in spite of the promises of "lifelong immunity from a single shot!" that were made in order to initially sell the vaccine. What actually happens: 5-10% don’t develop any immunity to measles (and 35% don’t for mumps) after the first shot, so a second shot was added for everyone.  Still, even after 2 shots, about 5% are considered “non-responders” for the measles portion of the vaccine (15-25% for mumps) and for the rest, immunity wanes sometime in adulthood, which causes 2 very troubling issues:

a) Vaccinated adults with waning immunity are, for the first time, at risk of getting the disease, including from recently vaccinated individuals, who shed live virus cells. This was not a phenomenon when the vaccine was first instituted, because the adult population at the time already had lifelong immunity from having had the disease as children.  We are seeing it now, with documented cases of adults actually contracting measles from their own recently vaccinated infants.  Measles contracted in adulthood has a much higher complications rate than measles contracted in childhood.

b) Infants are now at risk of contracting measles, not only from recently vaccinated siblings, but from exposed adults whose vaccine-induced immunity has waned. They were not at risk for this before the introduction of the vaccine, for the following reason: measles was originally a CHILDHOOD DISEASE, not an infant disease. Infants didn't get measles, because they were born with measles-specific antibodies conferred by their mothers, who had gotten measles as children. This protection generally lasted through infancy and even toddlerhood. If the mother breastfed, duration of protection continued even longer.  This protection wore off sometime in childhood, when measles was, for the vast majority, not a severe disease.

But mothers who never had measles, even if vaccinated for it, do not confer that protection to their infants.

So the MMR may have been excellent at reducing measles incidence in children, but has then shifted the burden of disease to the two populations most at risk for complications--adults and infants. Since the vaccine does not produce complete or lasting immunity, there will always be outbreaks, even with 100% compliance—with the infants and waned-immunity adults shouldering most of the risk of complications.

In spite of industry claims, measles has never been eradicated in the US (or anywhere else), by the way. Yes, we read such claims, but it’s actually never happened.  There have been several  hundred of cases every year, not including vaccine-strain measles, which for some odd reason are reported as “atypical measles” and are not counted in measles statistics. These are cases that are either caused by the vaccine itself, or are cases caught by someone exposed to either vaccine shedding, or to an individual developing a case of vaccine-induced measles. 

There is no evidence that vaccine-induced measles is any milder (or any worse) than wild-strain measles.

This leads us to the issue of vaccine safety. The MMR has NEVER been adequately assessed for safety, and the Cochrane Reviews—a group of pro-vaccine MD/PhD researchers who are widely considered the gold standard of mainstream medical review--have been pointing this out for at least the last decade. Their exact words in every review of the MMR are: “The design and reporting of safety outcome  MMR studies, both pre- and post-licensure, is largely inadequate.”  http://www.cochrane.org/CD004407/ARI_using-the-combined-vaccine-for-protection-of-children-against-measles-mumps-and-rubella.

We cannot say with any certainty how many neurological or autoimmune disorders are triggered, as there is no adequate tracking system, nor are not adequate safety studies looking at this. http://www.cochrane.org/CD004407/ARI_using-the-combined-vaccine-for-protection-of-children-against-measles-mumps-and-rubella.

We do know that some occur.  We do not know how many, or why they occur at all.
Merck’s own website tells us that MMR-induced seizures are most likely to occur within 8-14 days of vaccination—yet post-marketing surveillance fails to look at this, and health care providers receive no education for the particular time frame, so they do not know to report such reactions to VAERS. (I challenge you to find a mother of a a one-year-old who can remember much from two days ago, let alone two weeks ago—most would never associated a febrile seizure with a vaccine received 8-14 days ago.)

 Merck’s website also tells us that up to 25% of adult females will develop arthritis/arthralgia as a side effect from MMR; there is no way to know how many 12-month-old infants (which is the age the vaccine is given) also develop painful inflammatory/autoimmune joint pain, nor what other “silent" symptoms or repercussions there might be, as 12-month-old infants are generally not able to explain what hurts.

The package insert also tells us that the MMR has never been assessed for carcinogenicity nor for fertility impairment.

This is very disturbing. This vaccine has been recommended since 1971, and the post-marketing information on safety outcome is still inadequate?

And this is just the tip of the iceberg.  There are 13 other vaccines on the schedule, with widely varying safety, efficacy, and/or necessity issues.

Yes, it’s frightening to think that vaccines don’t do everything promised. It’s also frightening that so many people marginalize and demean anyone who criticizes vaccines.

And yes, it is confusing for new parents, especially when many sources on both sides are inaccurate, misleading, or both—like the parents.com article you linked, which mentions only the most obscure serious vaccine reactions without mentioning the most common serious reactions. It also throws around some VERY convoluted statistical estimates as though they were known facts (for example, reporting the pertussis death rate as 1 in 1,500 when the CDC reported 1 in 2,400 “pertussis-related deaths” in 2012, although I would agree that even 1 in 2,400 is a serious problem). There are several other major problems with that article, and I’ll be happy to go into more detail if you like.

Even if we leave autism out of the discussion, vaccination today is NOT a "no-brainer.” It’s not an all-or-nothing issue; what is true of one vaccine or disease is not necessarily true of all, and we should not be thinking of this as "vaccination: yes or no?”  We should be looking at each disease, and each vaccine, and we should be looking at the studies, not at a 1-size-fits-all schedule for all vaccines/all children, and not at few industry-paid experts promoting that schedule.

Much remains unknown about the immune system, about autoimmunity, and in particular, about unforeseen adverse reactions to vaccines.  The experts can’t seem to predict who will have a severe adverse reaction to vaccines; when it happens, they don’t know why—not even when the reaction is quickly recognized and reported, which makes it all the more disturbing to learn that such reactions are increasing.

That’s why it’s so important to keep the conversation going, and I am deeply grateful to you for starting it (and continuing it!). 
Thank you so much,

The Best of Fatherly Advice

Since Father's Day is in June, I started the conversation in the June issue of Northern Connection magazine wondering about the best of fatherly advice and pointed towards the "Pittsburgh Dad" series - I love this series and even though it's already summer here's one of my favorites regarding snow days and the Pittsburgh Dad's advice of eventually having to pay the piper...



What is the best (or worst) fatherly advice you ever received? Be sure and leave your advice in the comments below!

When Do We Start Listening to Our Mothers?

Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's out there! In the May issue of Northern Connection magazine, I "Started the Conversation" recalling and wondering about all the great advice we get from our mothers and when do we start listening?

In the article, I related this personal story:

In addition to the typical advice, I have received a ton of great advice over the years from my own mother. The advice ranges from how to clean (although I think she may be giving up on that one), how to see someone else’s side or point of view, how to manage a household and so much more. But I think the best advice she gave me and my sister was through our teenage and college years when she simplified all rules into one guiding principle: “Just don’t do anything that will cause me any grief.” And that pretty much summed it all up. We knew not to drink, smoke, stay out late, behave or dress promiscuously, drive carelessly or give into any other temptation that might, in any way, shape or form, do anything that could result in causing our mother “grief.”

I still get great advice from my mother, for which I am always grateful. especially the lesson behind the phrase, "This too shall pass" - so no matter what I may be going through, I should always either count my blessings or avoid becoming despondent or too stressed out because - this too shall pass...

So I would love to hear from you and learn what was the best advice you ever received from your mother? Or, what has been the best advice you have ever received on motherhood for all the expectant mothers out there?

What's the Fad with Fad Diets?

I started the conversation in Northern Connection magazine about the alluring fad of fad diets, exercise machines and the like and asked, “Why do you think we find them alluring?” Each definitely brags about their success stories from no carbs to hill-climbing machines.

Of course, at least for me, I know there are some excuses that I love to make – my favorite is that I’ve lost over 100 pounds – I’ve just lost the same 10 pounds 10 times. A friend of mine says that “there are two kinds of people in this world, those that eat to live and those that live to eat” – I most definitely fall into the latter category but still, I would like my clothes to fit better, etc. I think my biggest problem besides the scale,  is that I just love to enjoy eating out, new recipes and I love to make recipes that friends and family really gobble-up and just love to savor.

Everyone says that the key is to find something you love to do – I love to play golf but it isn’t having any real effect on the waistline. But, that’s probably my fault as I should walk the course rather than rent a cart. Is there any diets or exercise that you have experienced that you have found that works – any for those of us over 40 and closing in on 50 – just doesn’t seem to want to move.

But what do you think? What have you found that works to take it off and keep it off? Please feel free to comment in the section below:

Should Students Dress for Success?

In our special January Education issue of Northern Connection magazine, I started the conversation on the whether students should be required to “dress for success” whether that be adhering to a dress code or wearing a uniform.

As I mentioned, I loved the ease of wearing a uniform at school. My sister also loved wearing a school uniform because it made everyone (especially all the girls) even – no status of high fashion and expense, no competition. At least not in that regard.

Studies across the country have proven time and again that students behave better and performance increases when wearing a uniform or adhering to a strict dress code. As in this report from education.com points out regarding a dress code policy in Long Beach California:

“Long Beach Superintendent Carl A. Cohn reported that during the first year suspensions decreased by 32 percent, school crime by 36 percent, fighting by 51 percent, and vandalism by 18 percent (Cohn). At Whittier Elementary, attendance rates have risen each year since the policy went into effect, reaching a high of 96 percent (Caruso). Schools in Chicago, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Maryland, New York, and Virginia have made similar claims (Caruso).”

(Visit http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Student_Dress_Codes/ to read the whole report.)

Of course, some students (and their parents) have rebelled against dress codes citing everything from freedom of expression to civil liberties, in spite of the positive data from study after study that proves otherwise.

To learn more about student rights and dress codes, visit http://education.findlaw.com/student-rights/school-dress-codes.html.

So what are your opinion, thoughts and experiences? Do you think dress codes should be stricter? More lenient?  Should they be mandatory, better enforced? Have you ever heard of a case that was taking the rules a bit too far?

Be sure and leave your comments below and let’s Continue the Conversation:

 

Advice on Helicopter Parenting?

 

In this month’s issue of Northern Connection magazine, I started the conversation by wondering how on Earth, parents manage in this day and age when there are dangers around every corner – even via the computer, SMART Phone, “Live” gaming on a child’s game console – everywhere! How do you do it? How do you know who to trust?

On the computers and devices, you can set parental controls and install software such as Net Nanny http://www.netnanny.com/, but even those require diligent surveillance. A friend of my husband recently had to punish his middle-schooler by taking away all his electronics because his son re-configured his computer to get around all the precautions. (The friend confessed that it was tough, because on the inside, he was actually proud and impressed that his son was that tech-savvy).

And then, as I mentioned in the article, how do you know when to step back? So many college students have a very difficult freshman year because of a lack of self-reliance.

What do you think? Any recommendations, suggestions, additional concerns or frustrations that you would like to share? As always, I am eager to hear from you!