In this month’s issue, we published articles to raise the
awareness of cyberbullying and bullying in general. In the tech article, we
pointed out that if you are a victim, then you are not alone. Teens, pre-teens
and adults can sometimes, through no fault of their own, become the target of
someone’s venom. On the one hand, this can happen over social media, making it
in actuality “anti-social” media. Fortunately, as American citizens, we have
rights against such harassment, strengthened by new anti-bullying legislation
and the hosting sites are more aware and are willing to take down negative
content and bar negative people from using their services.
In my editorial, “Starting the Conversation: Bullying Advice”,
I mention that I have also been a victim of bullying but I received help and
advice from several places including my mother, who intervened; the Sisters of
St. Benedict where I went to High School (unfortunately that school is no longer open but take a look at the many
schools advertising in this month’s issue and the school directory to find
another wonderful school and academic program); and even years later, my
husband’s philosophy that there are some people that mistakenly think that
their candle will burn brighter if they blow out everyone else’s when, in
reality, they will eventually just blow out their own.
Other great advice I received was from a very hard-nosed
businessman from Uniontown, who insisted that I always remember to never let
anyone know that they can upset me or make me angry – he said, the trick is to
never react in any way because if bad people know they can make you react by “pressing
your buttons” then they will, just because they can. If someone already thinks
they can, then the best thing you can do is stop reacting and just shake your
head. It is surprising how well this works. A good friend of mine does the
head-shake at aggressive drivers and it always seems to work to calm them down
and make them drive more sensibly – not sure why this works, I’m just happy it does.
I think this was a great article for Fall- just as school is starting up again. When I was in grade school, I faced a lot of bullying because of my small size, and the fact that I didn't want to swear and do some of the other bad things my classmates were doing. I was raised in an extremely Catholic family, and my parents raised me with certain morals and standards. Unfortunately, at that time in my life I didn't have anyone to turn to but my parents. I got out of the situation because the school closed. However, the same girl who bullied me in grade school met up with me again in high school--and this time she cyber bullied me by commenting all over my Facebook pictures. The best advice I can give is to set all aspects of your profile on private, and seek out the help of your high school guidance counselor. My counselor told me to keep my head high and act as though the girls comments weren't bothering me. This drove her crazy. I had a great group of friends who stuck by me, and by keeping record of her comments on the internet, I was able to turn them in to the school, and she was held accountable. There is bullying everyday, what is important is to know that you aren't the only person going through it, and there is always someone there to help you.
ReplyDeleteGet involved in your kid's life, their circles, their cyber involvement. I have always been available to my son. The one time he felt hurt or harassed, I encouraged him to handle it on his own, and offered suggestions..ignore it, tell the teacher and ask for help, but also told him to let me know if he needed me to step in. Stop it before it becomes a problem and don't let anyone step on your confidence.
ReplyDeleteThese comments are some GREAT advice! I have also received some great advice via email from our readers. For example, several readers suggested that I not only give advice to victims but also advise the bully's that they can get into serious trouble with the law and that making cruel posts about someone makes them look insensitive and can give them a bad reputation for being mean and make it very difficult to find a job, particularly in the service industry or get financial aid packages that include a service or character component. Another reader simply advises that the old saying, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" is truer now with social media than it ever has been before! I think I have to agree!
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